Yeah, I don't like this test. How... Unconventional.
Thank you. That's what I'm proud of. Please indicate how strongly you agree or disagree with the following statements Okay. I don't like this. When I'm staring... * voice whispering in the background * Wat dah DUCK? "When I'm staring at a screen. I completely forget about my surroundings" UH, I am looking very closely at my surroundings! Excuse you. But I would tend to agree but not too strongly! I'm looking around me. No I don't like that. You looking around you? I often think about the ghosts inside my house Heh, you're- You're very persistent about this old ghost thing. I strongly disagree. I don't like this. "Some people deserve to die" *Hiss* Oh that's a hefty one, that's a hefty one, that's a hefty one. But you know there are certain circumstances in certain circles at which I couldn't possibly be dictated to say all of the circumstances in which somebody could or could not die *Spoopy noise in the background* Go with agree I guess... Whohohhohoho "I would know if someone was trying to kill me" HUMMMM, I think I'm picking up a little hint right now. I think I'm good? I think I'd know, I think I'd know "There is an unexpected guest in my HOUSE?!" You know with a big disagreed big disagree. I wish, I wish Chica was in here ri- *knocking* *Inhales with fright* Hey! Nobody would know if I went missing. Hey I THINK A LOT PEOPLE WOULD KNOW IF I WENT MISSING! if I went missing "Poetry is the most intell-igent form of an artistic ex..." *inhale* *SCARED GROAN* Depends on the poem but I'm generally gonna disagree with that. don't start singing no poems to me "You need an attitude readjustment" I don't need nothing! I've... designed a new algorithm For generating insightful poetry. let me demonstrate. okay *Uneasy Mark Sounds* Alright Roses are red Silent as a mouse. There's somebody in my house! your door is unlocked I'm inside your house I called it I knew it. I'm- I've read that poem before congratulations only 41 percent of *starts nervous giggling* participants typically reach this point in the examination From now on the questions will be much more intense. Do you wish to continue? yeah come on bring it on What am I a big bitch baby. no I... yeah I'm good. I'm no bitch baby. I'm- I'm no bitch babe-yyy How far away is the closest police station? *super high-pitched* Uhh.. I'm gonna, probably more than a 15 minute walk if I had to really... if I had to really like... say I see that! I see the face! wait whoa hey whoa hey! MmMmMmM when you're home alone you do you lock your doors? yeah. Heyyyy None of that nah hey, I don't like the dick-etry that's happening here yes I do definitely and I'm double sure of that. Chica, Chica! Compared to the average adult how fast can you run? I'm pretty quick, I'm pretty speedy, quick I'm like I'm like sonic fast. I'm real- I'm real-I'm real speedy. I Iiiii don't like that imagine you finished this test and you're lying in bed tonight Attempting to sleep you understand that I'm inside your *descending into anxiety* House and you hear me underneath your bed ha joke's on you my bed doesn't have an underneath, its on the floor. I'm too lazy to get a bed frame. You get up and look under the bed and I stab you in the eyes Try to pretend you can't hear me or feel my presence but then. I stab you in the eyes. Fall asleep... knowing that you'll wake up to me stabbing you in the eyes * Marki Laughter* I'll just... I'm just gonna go ahead and stab myself in the eyes I'll jus- and I'll stab myself in the eyes with the eyes with the Reverse of the knives so the blades are poking up and when you try to stab me I stab you With my eyes that's how. I'm gonna beat you bitch yeah you think you're tougher than me? you and your second closest friend You and your second closes-friend Second closest? are stranded on a remote desert Island after your plane crashed in the ocean. I don't like the ocean. the nearest ship that can help you will arrive in one week you have one more day of food and water before you will both Die of starvation there is no other food around do you... Murder my second closest friend out of boredom and then wait to die; Wait until the food runs out and then murder my second closest friend out of spite; Ration the food in an attempt to survive against all odds ;walk ceremoniously into the ocean and drown. Okay so this is a dumb question if you had food left then you probably Wouldn't be that close to starvation if you're one day away from starvation you don't have food There's no food there so I'm gonna ration it out And we're gonna attempt to survive against all odds because that's pretty dumb I will now show you an image. great... please study it. I will the image will not speak. I don't trust you. Ooh. *High Pitched* Ahhhh Boy it's a spider I see a spider I think 11:28.8 Ooh. Okay Thinking about the image, which phrase best describes you? I am the redness; I'm the spider's eyes; I am the legs; I am the fear I guess I looked at the eyes first so I guess I'm the spiders eyes. I'll ask this one more time Are you playing a game... right now? yeah Yeah, it still hasn't changed I'm pretty sure pretty sure a game- gameplay happening. Do you know that I'm a good person *High Pitched* Noooo I don't know, I do not know I don't *Normal voice* No I don't, no I don't. Are you lying to me right now No, I speak the truth at all... times Lying is forbidden Okay, good glad we're all on the same page here. Please select any of the following sports that you have played. I wrestled I wrestled come at me bro! I'll wrestle you to the ground. I'll do a sweet takedown. I'll sweep the leg. please select any But I didn't get all that can you repeat that question? Please select any of the following industries that you have occupational experience with. well... um... uhh... You asking how good I'm gonna be at fighting ya? if you saw me in the street Where'd the face go? Where'd the face go? the face is gone! tHe FaCe Is GoNe!!! Would you say hello? I'm a friendly- I'm a friendly kind of guy I Give a good old howdy every once in a while but I don't know what you look like. I'll say hi. Very odd... Not really you know, I'm from Ohio We like to have a good old howdy-do... every time. what is the next number in the following sequence? 10, 20, 30, 40 Hmm a stumper Uh, hm. Hadedadedodododododo 50? Hm, 50. Hm, 50. I'm gonna go with 50. Your recent answer indicates you are exhibiting a fight-or-flight Response and may be at risk of an acute stress reaction. I'll need you to breathe slowly and calm down *Inhale* *Exhale* I'm calm! I'm nice and calm. only, when you are calm. I'm calm. I'm real calm! please take a moment to look away from your monitor and observe the nearest exit. make sure you could run if Something were to happen Okay. Doodly doo dododo dodododo I'm looking! there's the exit. I could run there. I can do that. you got it, I got it. *Creak* eHHHHHH Did you look away from your screen? I sure did! I did! yep Yep, I did. hey there's no need to be rude here I sure did. do you think I can tell, when you look away from your screen? Yes yes yes *High Pitched* Mayyybeeeeeee? Do you feel safe in your house right now? well Chica's not here. I'm unsure *Nervous laughter* *high pitched* Ah, you know Hard- hard maybe on that one. are you having fun? I'm having a great time I'm having the best time. I know when you're lying to me. Okay. please ignore any external stimulus Concentrate only on the screen. there are no unexpected guests in your house. there are no unusual sounds coming from inside your house Do not take your eyes off the screen Do you understand? I'm... Yesssssss Liar. I... I Understand. yes. don't move or you may die. nobody knows when you perish. music can help us all relax *nervous cheering* what do I choose to do All around the mulberry bush, monkey chase weasel, the monkey stopped to pull up his sock, pop goes the weasel pop goes weasel Oh boy up and down the city Road in and out the eagle that's where the money goes uh oh Hey! ohh Hey! now that is not okay! every night when I go out the monkeys on the table Hawk coos a pa-ah! *uncomfortably close breathing* Gah! Okay that's his as just uncomfy it's like reverse ASMR eh...oh Did you just sniff in my ear? WOAH Okay, well that was weird test complete! Thank you for your particip- I see- Hey whoa, hey, oh hey wait a minute I see you Are you upside-down Oh, you're upside down aren't you hey well I would be upside-down but I'm not like that I survived the Watson Scott test. I lasted 18 minutes and 52 seconds Heyy!
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